


Fluffer

by daddyhader



Series: New Girl AU [1]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Bisexual Richie Tozier, Fluff, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Light Angst, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Richie Tozier is a Good Friend, a New Girl inspired AU, cause I love that series with all my heart, eddie richie and stan are roommates, richie and eddie are oblivious idiots, theyre in their early thirties, we're getting there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:53:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27544903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daddyhader/pseuds/daddyhader
Summary: Richie can tell Eddie doesn't bite his lousy excuse, and he winces when Eddie drops the instructions on the box, frustration clear on his face. "What the fuck is wrong with you?""Nothing, Eddie-""Bullshit, just tell me what's wrong.""Nothing," Richie insists, avoiding Eddie's eyes. "I can't be- I'm your fluffer, Eddie!""My what?" Eddie asks, eyes squinting. "What the fuck is a fluffer, Richie?""I'm your boyfriend without the rewards!" Richie shouts.~Eddie's recent revelation about his private life forces him and Richie to reevaluate their friendship, when they realize things are not as clear between them as they used to be.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: New Girl AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2015521
Comments: 12
Kudos: 70





	Fluffer

**Author's Note:**

> this AU really is as ridiculous as it sounds, but New Girl is my favorite tv series and this episode is so goddamn funny. hope y'all like this and i hope it makes you watch New Girl
> 
> enjoy xx

"Nope," Stan says, shaking his head when he sees Richie come out of his room dressed in a pair of leather pants. "It's too early for this shit, Richie, what the fuck are you wearing?"

"My leather pants," Richie casually says, trying his best to keep a straight face as he makes his coffee. "Why, what's wrong with them?"

 _What isn't_ , Stan thinks. "You look like a male stripper."

"Eddie," Richie calls when he sees him grumpily enter the kitchen in a white t-shirt and shorts, looking for coffee. "Can you please tell Stan that my leather pants are awesome?"

Pausing his search for the sugar, Eddie gives Richie a lazy once-over. "They're terrible."

Stan smirks at the same time as Richie groans. "Thank you, Eddie."

"I'm shocked and appalled," Richie says in a flat tone. "Neither of you has any taste. I'll have you know, my _best friend in the whole world,_ Beverly, approves."

"She's in love, and love makes people say dumb shit," Eddie says, finally finding the sugar and getting started on his coffee. "Last night was terrible," he states. "Adam came over, we tried to make out, I stopped it, and we just sat there like those two old people in The Notebook, waiting to fucking die."

"Doesn't surprise me," Stan says, taking a sip from his coffee as Eddie gives him a puzzled look. "You're not the type of person that has casual sex. You have to ease into it, be comfortable around each other."

"He's right," Richie says, rummaging the fridge for breakfast. "You want passion, right? You want magic, some spark." Eddie nods, and Richie thinks for a moment before he snaps his fingers. "How about we all take you out tonight?" he asks and pulls out his phone. "All the losers together, but we'll make you feel like you're going on a first date."

Eddie considers Richie's offer as he stirs his coffee. "Huh. That's actually not a terrible idea. Like a big, non-sexual losers date," he says and ignores Richie's and Stan's disgusted expressions. "I know I always jump into relationships, and frankly, Adam isn't really the relationship type of guy. This could be good," he adds, and his phone buzzes in his pocket at the same time as Stan's on the counter.

"Already texted the group chat, be at The Bridge at 8:30," Richie says and vanishes in his room.

By 8:35 that evening, and as Richie goes through his second glass of wine, he starts to suspect the rest of the losers will not be joining him in his plan to help Eddie get laid. The group chat is guiltily quiet, and his attempts to call them individually haven't gone well either. He looks around, nervously tapping his foot, and tries once again to call the others. Finally, he gets hold of Stan. "Stanley fucking Uris," he whisper-yells, "where the hell are you?"

There's noise on Stan's end of the call that sounds like traffic. "I'm so sorry, Richie, I can't make it," Stan says, in a not very convincingly apologetic voice. "Patty came back from Georgia and I'm spending the night at her place." He mumbles something away from the speaker, and then adds "Patty says hi."

"You're lucky I love Patty and I can't get mad at her," Richie mutters and glances at the entrance of the restaurant. "What about the others?"

"Bill has a meeting with his manager and Mike had to cover for someone in the library. I don't know where Bev and Ben are."

"I could guess," Richie says with an eyeroll, downing the rest of his wine. "Well, fuck you guys, it seems like I'm Eddie's only best friend. Guess I have to call him and tell him the date is-"

He doesn't finish his sentence as he sees Eddie approach his table, and he presses the end call button. He looks... really good, dressed in a fitting black shirt and powder blue pants that look almost grey. His hair looks fluffier than usual, and Richie eventually realizes it's because Eddie hasn't gelled it back, like he usually does. It suits him. Richie knows he's staring, he knows he should stop, but he can't take his eyes away from Eddie.

"Hey, Rich," Eddie says with a smile as he pulls the chair opposite Richie. "Where is everyone?"

"Uh, they're not coming," Richie manages to say, pouring water in Eddie's glass. "I guess it's just gonna be you and me. Unless, you want to go back home-"

"No, Richie, it's okay," Eddie says, still smiling. "I want to stay."

"Good, that's good," Richie says, smiling back. "Full disclosure, I wouldn't have picked this place if I knew how expensive it was."

Grabbing his menu, Eddie groans when he sees Richie is right. "Should have brought my thermos, man. Sneak in some soup or something."

"That would have been genius," Richie says as he gestures for the waiter.

In the end, they order more wine instead of food, which results in them getting quite drunk, quite soon. They're still giggling from one of Richie's terrible celebrity impressions, when Eddie's phone buzzes, and his face slightly drops. "Oh. It's Adam. His shift ended early and he _wants to hang_."

"Damn, he's got a job?" Richie asks, words slightly slurred. "Put a ring on it, man."

"Thank you, Richie, for everything," Eddie says as he gets up. "He's coming to pick me up, want a ride home?"

"Nah," Richie says, finishing his wine, "go bone your man."

"Gross," Eddie states, but grins as he heads towards the entrance. "See you tomorrow, Rich."

"See ya." Richie watches as Adam's car -a Toyota 86, the pretentious asshole- pulls up, and Eddie gets inside, greeting Adam with a kiss that burns Richie's insides. He sighs, and takes his wallet out as he signals for the waiter to bring him the check.

The following morning, Richie wakes up with a headache, and his throat feeling like sandpaper. He rolls over and smushes his face on his pillow, relishing the coolness against his burning skin. When he eventually decides to get up, he opens his door at the same time as Eddie. They silently greet each other, mindful of their headaches, and they both head to the bathroom, where Stan has just finished brushing his teeth.

"What the fuck. Why are you here?" Richie asks Stan, voice coarse.

"Good morning to you, too. Patty and I stayed here," Stan says, uncapping his mouthwash. "She left half an hour ago. How did it go?"

"I had so much sex last night," Eddie says between cackles, wetting his toothbrush and quietly returning Richie's high-five.

"This is the second day we talk about your sex life this early in the morning," Stan points out. "In a row."

"And it's all thanks to you, Rich," Eddie says, patting Richie's arm.

"I do my best," Richie says and winks at him.

"I don't want to gross you guys out with details, but I kinda broke my dresser during sex," Eddie coyly says.

"WHAT!" Richie shouts, spitting some toothpaste on the mirror.

"How the fuck, Eddie?"

Ignoring their reactions, Eddie turns to Richie. "Will you go to IKEA with me?"

"Yeah, sure," Richie says, wiping his face with the towel, "I'm not doing anything. Just keep me away from the restaurant. You know how much I like their meatballs."

Cackling, Eddie nods at him. "Alright, I'll go get my coupons."

Richie doesn't miss Stan's condescending look as Eddie heads to his room, and he rolls his eyes. "If you've got something to say, Stan," he says as soon as Eddie is out of earshot, "just say it."

"Oh, believe me," Stan says and crosses his arms, "I have plenty to say. You're his fluffer."

Richie blinks at him. "I'm his _what_?"

"His fluffer," Stan repeats. "His emotional fluffer. You have crossed a line, Richie. Very soon, you're going to start fulfilling every single need he has, doing all the things a boyfriend would do-"

"What the fuck are you talking about, man-"

"-for some other guy, who does none of them." Stan pauses. "You're the boyfriend without the rewards."

"You're full of shit, Stan," Richie says and crosses his arms.

"Why are you guys yelling?" Eddie asks as he enters the bathroom again, dressed, holding the coupons in his hand.

Stan glances at Richie who squints his eyes daringly at him "It's nothing," Richie says. "Let me get dressed and we're leaving," he says and walks away, but not before shooting Stan a final death stare.

Confused, Eddie purses his lips and looks at Stan, who remains silent. "You guys have issues," Eddie says and exits the bathroom.

Three long hours later, Richie and Eddie are back in the apartment, with the dresser in its box and a bunch of bags filled with random things they picked up to cover their walls and tables with.

"Holy shit, that was so much fun," Eddie says, panting from lifting the heavy box all the way up to their apartment. He lightly kicks the door of his bedroom and walks backwards to let Richie in. "Thank you so much, Richie," he says, groaning as he straightens his aching lower back. "Hey," he calls before Richie leaves, "is there any chance you know how to assemble this thing?" he says and points at the box.

"Sure, it looks pretty easy," Richie says before he can help it, and then his face falls as he remembers Stan's words earlier that day. "Actually, Eddie, I can't. I- I've got this, thing."

"What thing?"

"A _thing,_ Eds, I'm busy," Richie says and takes a few steps back.

He can tell Eddie doesn't bite his lousy excuse, and he winces when Eddie drops the instructions on the box, frustration clear on his face. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Nothing, Eddie-"

"Bullshit, just tell me what's wrong."

" _Nothing,_ " Richie insists, avoiding Eddie's eyes. "I can't be- I'm your _fluffer,_ Eddie!"

"My _what_?" Eddie asks, eyes squinting. "What the fuck is a fluffer, Richie?"

Richie's shoulders drop, and his expression softens. "I'm the guy who keeps you emotionally satisfied, Eddie. I'm there when you need me, I drive you to places, I take you on _dates,_ so your boyfriend doesn't have to."

"You're my friend," Eddie tries to reason, "that's what friends do."

"I'm your boyfriend without the rewards," Richie shouts. He immediately regrets his choice of words when he sees Eddie's amused expression. "I didn't mean it like that, Eds-"

"Are you saying-" Eddie starts, eyes wide, "do you _want_ the rewards?"

"That is _not_ what I meant, Eddie-"

"Then _what_ did you mean, Richie?"

"I didn't mean anything, Eddie, just drop it-"

"I mean, it's not an unheard-of thought," Eddie pushes. "Just admit you've thought about it."

Richie's eyes go wide, and his heart starts beating way faster than normal. "What- you and me? Sexually? Nope, never," he says and crosses his arms.

"Don't lie to me," Eddie says, seeing right through Richie's bullshit.

"I mean," Richie starts, voice louder than before, "not on _purpose-_ "

"Richie, you fucker, I _saw_ you checking me out at the restaurant last night-"

"Well, you were wearing a _tight_ black shirt, Eds, what was _I_ supposed to do-"

Eddie sighs. "Okay, I'll admit _I've_ thought about it-"

Unwillingly, Richie's mouth forms a wide grin when he hears Eddie, and he uncrosses his arms, putting them on his hips. "Huh? W-when?"

Eddie, now visibly uncomfortable, focuses on anything around the room except Richie's eyes. "Just once, a few months ago. It's not a big deal, Richie-"

"Oh, so _now_ it's not a big deal?"

"I literally thought about it for _five_ minutes, and then I forgot about it because _this_ ," Eddie yells, and points at him and Richie, "is _never_ going to work."

For a second, Eddie thinks he sees a hint of sadness in Richie's eyes, but then he blinks and it's gone. "Of course it would never work," Richie yells back, "you fucking drive me _nuts,_ Eddie!"

" _I fucking agree,_ " Eddie yells, "glad we're on the same fucking page, Tozier."

Instead of yelling back, Richie's expression softens. "Here's the thing, though," he says, his voice lower, almost threatening. " _You_ need _me_ to have sex."

Richie's little smirk makes Eddie want to punch it off of his face. Instead, he takes a slow step closer to him. "Is that what you think?"

"Oh, yes," Richie replies in the same sultry tone, staring deeply into Eddie's eyes.

"Alright," Eddie says. "I'm calling Adam, and we're gonna go on a _date_." He pulls out his phone, just as Richie takes a step back. Eddie thinks he sees that same sadness on Richie's face, but Richie is out of his room before he can say another word.

After what happened in the bathroom that morning, Stan is not surprised when he enters the apartment later that day and sees Richie face down on the couch, groaning loudly, and occasionally hitting his head on the pillow. "Richie, _what_ are you doing, man?"

Groaning once more, Richie lifts his upper body and sits on his elbows. Stan, to his credit, tries very hard not to cackle at the pillow imprint on his cheek. "I did as you told me, Stan, I told Eddie I was being his fluffer, and now I feel fucking terrible. Why do I feel terrible?"

Stan sighs deeply and sits on the edge of the couch. "It's because you didn't set boundaries, Richie."

"What is it with you and fucking boundaries, man?"

"Okay," Stan says, "let me explain this to you in terms you can understand- don't roll your eyes at me. As a friend, you can help him lift his heavy luggage, but you can't drive him to the airport. You compliment his outfit, but you don't help him pick it out. You get me?"

 _Fucking Stanley and his endless wisdom,_ Richie thinks. "Whatever, man. I'm not his fluffer, and I'm not his boyfriend either. I'm his roommate, I'm one his best friends, and I'm not his fucking fluffer."

Stan sighs, and grabs Richie's shoulder, gripping it a bit tighter than he has to. "I believe you. But please don't build him that dresser. You guys are in a weird situation, it will only make things worse. For the both of you."

Richie nods at Stan as he gets up, and heads to his room. On his way, though, his eye falls on Eddie's dresser through his open door, still in its perfect cardboard box. _It's basically begging to be assembled,_ Richie thinks, and rushes to their storage room where they keep their toolbox.

After his date with Adam ends, Eddie is mentally exhausted. As far as dates go, it was a good one. They went for a movie, and then for burgers, and ended up taking a walk through a nearby park. But throughout the entire date, Richie's words kept repeating in his head, making him squirm every time Adam so much as touched him. They talked, they agreed that they didn't have to go on dates and be super couple-y to feel like an actual couple, and that was it.

Despite that, when Eddie enters the apartment, he feels deeply dissatisfied.

He tosses his keys on the entrance table and takes off his shoes, expecting Stan and Richie to be asleep by now. What he finds when he enters his room is Richie, on his floor, surrounded by bags of screws and parts of what looks like-

"Richie no, stop. Don't build that dresser," he says and walks over to Richie, trying to grab the screwdriver from his hands, without success as Richie switches hands and holds it out of Eddie's reach. "I can't let you fluff me, Rich."

"No, Eddie, I'm going to build you that fucking dresser, and I don't give a shit about what anybody says," Richie says, voice tense, and drops his shoulders as he gives up on the dresser. "I'm not doing this, or any of the things I do for you because I expect a reward, or because I'm your fluffer," he says, voice soft. "I'm doing them because I care about you."

Eddie sighs, and grunts slightly as he sits on the floor besides Richie. "I know," he says, because he does. He's never had any doubt that Richie cares about him, and he hopes Richie knows how much he cares about him, too.

"Besides," Richie continues with a smirk as he nods towards the cabinet, "I love this stuff. It's like LEGOs for adults."

That makes Eddie giggle, and Richie follows suit. "I'm sorry," Eddie says eventually, looking at Richie's profile. "I didn't know what I was doing to you. I've always had relationships and friendships separated, and now, everything is so fucking messy and complicated. And I really don't want to screw up what we have," he says as Richie finally turns to look at him. "You're too important to me."

Richie nods, his eyes not leaving Eddie's as he searches for the right words to say. "It's not the same with us," he says, and continues when he sees Eddie's face twist in confusion. "We're just two friends who, sometimes, are kind of attracted to each other-"

"Aha!" Eddie exclaims, pointing an accusatory finger at Richie's rapidly blushing face. "You _have_ thought about the rewards."

"No, _no,_ " Richie backtracks, even though he knows it's too late for that, "that is _not_ what I said-"

"Just admit it, Tozier," Eddie pressures, feeling his face get warmer.

"Please don't make this a bigger deal than it has to be," Richie says, surprisingly calm. "I fucking hate it when people tell us how to behave. If I want to build you a dresser, I'm gonna build you the goddamn dresser."

At that, Eddie chuckles. "I know."

"But," Richie continues, twisting the screwdriver in his hand, "if you want to go on dates before having sex, please go with the person you're actually fucking."

"Why do you have to be gross about everything?" Eddie asks, but nods. "I will. Thank you, Rich." He pats Richie's knee twice, hand lingering for a few seconds, and then he gets up, leaving Richie alone with the half finished dresser, already missing the warmth of Eddie's hand on his knee.

**Author's Note:**

> I've already began writing some other episodes sooo if you liked this one i could turn this into a mini series! lemme know what you think and as always, kudos and comments are appreciated xx


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